I want to be completely and brutally honest with you, because there is too much cookie-cutter perfection and hiding behind masks in our world. I want to be upfront with you about a struggle that is eating at our hearts daily:
insecurity.
I don’t really know why we as women are so prone to think negatively about ourselves. Maybe it’s our tendency to be more sensitive or emotional that makes us such easy targets. I don’t know the why behind our struggle, but often, we become masters of hiding behind a facade of happiness and joy, when inside our hearts are bruised and hurting. The worst part is that sometimes, we don’t even realize either that we are insecure, or that we can come out of that. We become callous to our problem and think it’s just who we are.
Let me tell you something, as a friend who has also been where you’ve been: you weren’t made to be insecure. You were not born with the tendency to think negatively about who you are. In fact, you weren’t even made with the faults you say you have.
I think every girl who has some familiarity with the Bible has been told to read Psalm 139:14. It’s become one of those verses, like the Creation or Noah’s ark, that we are so familiar with that we just skim over it. But if we can really dive into what this verse says, it means so much to those of us struggling with our self-esteem and confidence. My translator notes in my Bible explain this verse in this way: “God knows me as the One who formed me, but I cannot begin to comprehend this creature He has fashioned. I can only look upon him with awe and wonder — and praise Him.” (NIV Study Bible by
Zondervan). Wow! That really sheds new light on this familiar verse. Think about it: God knows our body, soul, and mind in ways we can’t even imagine. He made you and me. We are to look at our body, soul, and mind as something awesome and wonderful, not as something worthless and ugly. All God’s creations are wonderful; that includes you.
Our Personal Triggers
One of the ugly roots that stem from insecurity is jealousy. When we see someone that is “better” than us, we automatically let the green-eyed monster come running into our hearts and heads. We are captivated by the idea of having something that we don’t already have. When someone has that one thing, we are jealous and resentful of that person. That “one thing” or multiple things that we are longing for are our personal triggers. These are the things that make us the most insecure.
Everyone can have different triggers of insecurity based on their personality, background, status, or environment,
but there are a few common triggers a lot of girls struggle with. I want you to be familiar with these and identify your own. We will talk later about how you can overcome some of these struggles, but for now, let’s take a look at some of these “silent killers”.
Outward Appearance
Our culture pushes their standard of beauty down our throats so hard that it’s hard to breathe. It is sickening to me to see how exclusive the world’s standard of beauty is. To be considered beautiful in the world’s eyes, you have to see a tiny number on your scale, follow a flawless makeup routine, and wear only the highest-end name-brand clothes. With these standards, it’s very easy to be insecure about your appearance!
Social Status and Popularity
How many friends we have on Facebook and Instagram,
how popular we are at school, how well-known we are in
the community… all of these things can affect a girl’s
confidence.
Relationships and Romance
As in the above example, we are shamed in our society if
we’ve never had a boyfriend or if we don’t currently have
one. Singleness is considered lame and weird to our
friends, both in the world and Christians.
Grades and Success
If we don’t get straight A’s when we’re expected to, or we
flunk a class, or get a bad report card, we feel dumb and
not good enough. We always have to be top of the class to
be confident in ourselves.
Spiritual Life and Walk with God
As sad as it is, those of us that are Christians often feel
insecure about the things we do for God and His people.
We try to do what we can, but someone else always does it better. We become discouraged and just don’t do anything.
They say the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one. Figure out what your triggers are, and then we can take the necessary steps to heal.
Come back to projectvirtue.com this Thursday to read more!
Hey girl! 👋 Did you know that the blog post above is actually an excerpt from the Project Virtue e-book, “Journey to Virtue”? 🙌 Click here to read more!
